I Am Coming Out of the Closet & You Should Too

I have to confess, I sleep alone on the left side of the bed, there I've admitted it.

I want to champion the rights of all those individuals, like myself, who have been tragically living in the closet denying their sleeping habits and their true nature. Because I feared job place discrimination for my choice to sleep alone on the left side of the bed, I have, here to for, kept my identity as a sleep alone on the left side of the bed American to myself.

Tolerance in America has now evolved so that I feel free to share my true identity. I want to encourage others to cast off the shackles of bigotry and embrace their sleeping preferences. Be ashamed no more, that you may choose to sleep alone. No longer should anyone sleeping alone fear exposure for their desire to sleep on any portion of their bed, no matter which side they desire.

Equal Protection Under the Law:

I want equal IRS filing status with everyone else. I want to establish an organization like the Gay Straight Alliance to warn our high school students not to bully those brave individuals, who have come out of the closet to admit their true sleeping habits. 

It is my prayer, that we too, will one day have our own parades, to be able to march down the Main streets of America, to proudly express who we are in the bedroom. That some day, we will not be judged by the manner in which we sleep, but by content of our character.

It truly is a Brave New World.

Hallelujah!